I read this last night and it reminded me that I, too, was an etiquette fail. My BFF and I were forced by our mothers to go to etiquette classes at a department store (did you have Jacobsen's as well? I think it's a midwestern chain). They would drop us at the mall (they were free-range parents before free-range was a term), and we would walk up to the store and go to the etiquette room for our lessons. I know we skipped a few and wound up in Spencer's Gifts, the Piercing Pagoda, or at the pseudo french creperie on more daring Saturdays.
We did have Jacobson's! You may have skipped a class, but you could never be described as an etiquette fail.