Sure enough, this was awaiting us outside:
This is bad.
Apparently, it was loud enough for neighbors several houses down to hear it. How we did not is beyond me.
The bad news: we lost internet for two days and I had to spend two mornings dealing with tree removal services, the power company and the cable company.
The good news: the bad news was far overshadowed by the good news.
Most importantly, the tree didn't crush Eion. He was probably about ten feet away but was unscathed.
Our roof is ok. We never lost power even though our main line was ripped off the house and had the weight of half a tree on it. The guys from AEP were outstanding. So much so that I got all their names so I could write the company about how awesome they were. Daryl, remover of trees, was fast and relatively inexpensive. Not to mention, I think the house looks better without the tree.
I did have to move my tennis lesson (twice,) but we got pretty lucky.