So if I weren't sure I would meet with defeat from the outset, I would completely go to war with the school district over crossing guards. We need to get rid of these ladies.
Stop, stop STOP already with the "But what about the children?" I am telling you, these ladies at my son's elementary school are making it decidedly more unsafe for everyone involved. Or at least increasing buffoonery. Let's look at today for examples.
At morning drop off, things were going swimmingly. Driving away, I thought, "My, this is the smoothest drop off and departure I've had in ages." Then I saw the crossing guard, who was just arriving and had been unable to f*ck up the morning traffic flow. I would add that zero children perished in her absence. Really, there are only about three people free range enough to let their kids cross the street alone anyway, and I drive so that leaves two. I think the parents of the walkers and the driving parents can agree not to kill anyone, just like at all other hours of the freaking day.
Except, of course, for pick up. Today, seeing as I had a hair appointment, I parked in a different spot than normal and had to encounter the other crossing guard. There were no pedestrians in sight and she was waving cars through the four-way stop. Without making them stop. Maybe y'all feel differently, but crossing guards are there to ensure the safe passage of our little darlings not to re-write the rules of traffic during their afternoon reign. Personally, I think changing the laws of the road increases the chance of a bad outcome exponentially.
But knowing the reception my suggestion to ban the crossing guard would receive with the powers that be would receive, I'll just complain to you fine folks.