Saturday, January 12, 2013

Funeral For a Friend

Today the kids attended their first funeral, the father of one of my best friends. Normally, I don't know if I would have taken the kids but we have spent so much time over the years with Ann and her extended family, they're approaching family to us too. I felt like we all should be there.

Seeing as we were en route to a funeral, the subject of death did come up.

Children: What if you died?
Me: Well you’d have a party of course.
Children: A party?
Me: Because I wouldn’t want you to be sad. You should be happy I’m in heaven. [For those who might argue the alternative outcome, we’ll save that discussion for another day.]
Children: Ooh! We’ll have bacon! And beer!

And the planning session for my wake had begun.

Eion: Will we burn you at the party?
Maggie: Yes, it will be just like when they cremated Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi. We can set it up in the backyard.

Morrigan: We can dress her as Darth Vader!
Maggie: But make it a pink Darth Vader costume.
Eion: Everyone should wear pink since it is Mommy’s favorite color.
Morrigan: Even the boys?
Eion: Pink is an everybody color.
Maggie: We’ll need a keg and some beef.
Morrigan: There should definitely be a reading from World War Z.
Maggie: After that we can watch Dr. Who. Probably a weeping angels episode. Mom, which is your favorite one?

It was not lost on me that my wake bore more than a passing resemblance to Comicon. (Ann's brother said he wanted to make sure he received an invitation.) Before we started casting Ewoks for the after party, I indicated that I was planning on being around for quite some time which, while spoiling their fete du mort, was also (hopefully) somewhat reassuring. 

Death is such an incredibly hard subject. I appreciated that we had the chance to discuss that we were going to support our friends when they were grieving, to celebrate Mr. B's life and reflect on all the people he had touched, including us. As Eion said on the way home, "He was a really good man and I'll miss him."

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