Thursday, July 18, 2013

On a Positive Note

I'm taking a break from cleaning the girls' rooms. As they are at camp, I felt this was the perfect opportunity to clean out every nook and cranny of their rooms. And let me tell you, holy hoarders! Morrigan's room was first on the hit list as I expected it to be worse. It generally looks a fright and didn't disappoint. After a long few hours though, it was done.

On to Maggie's, which theoretically should have been easier since it looks cleaner. HA! Hers was just as bad, maybe worse if you include the chewed gum on the hardwood floors behind the bed. Not just one piece where you might think you made a mistake, but multiple pieces. Maggie also seems to have something against trash cans and prefers to use other containers to store her granola bar and skittles wrappers.

Now I just have to decide how long they are home from camp before we go Zero Tolerance Summer 2013.

So while I'm on this break, let me tell you about my trip to the orthopedic surgeon. I made the appointment a few months back as kind of a last ditch effort. Amy refused to give up on me and was pressing for me to engage in another round of physical therapy. At this point, I was reaching the point where I would try just about anything but I thought I would see what the ortho said before embarking on a new PT journey.

My expectations were rock bottom. Mostly, I expected that he would confirm the previous diagnosis of arthritis or SI joint issues and send me on my pain-filled way.

But it was a miracle y'all. One look at my MRI from last September, that of the near panic attack, and he immediately identified the problem. There is a tear in my disc between L5 and S1 (I don't really follow either) and it can be fixed by PT, time and if all else fails, surgery.

My mood and outlook have not been this good for a period that can be measured in years.

It is a little bittersweet because I am going to the PT, a friend, to whom I did not go the first time around as he was out of network and more expensive. Had I gone to him initially, I could have probably saved myself a great deal of pain. But BFD - I'm going to get better now!

Unless you've experienced it, it is really tough to understand the emotional toll that constant pain can put on you. This all started as what I believed to be an injury. Each new path of treatment, be it rest, PT, or yoga, looked like another step towards feeling like myself again.

But then it was a year later. My activity level was almost as low as one can go. All my hobbies were gone and I was in constant pain. Some days better than others but it was always there. I found my jaw was starting to hurt from being clenched all the time in response to the pain. My sleep was interrupted at best and I was not a fun person to be around. The pain and sleep deprivation made me a bitch and one prone to bursting into tears at that.

And all I could think about was how I am only 41. I didn't think I could stand to live in this kind of pain for decades. It was a scary feeling.

But hey, it's a new day and I feel like I have a new lease on life. Two people I know, including the orthopedic surgeon, have both had this and they do cross fit and run. Running! I never thought I'd be able to again.

So here's to new diagnoses, sunshine and better days ahead!


  1. So happy for you! You have an answer and a plan to address the problem. Nothing better than that! you will do great with your PT. heal thyself and let's get you signed up for a 5K when you are better!!

  2. Hurrah, hurrah!! You know I am so relieved for you, and happy happy happy that there is a brighter future ahead.